Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

I burned a lot of calories laughing at this one.

Warning: This post not safe for 12 and under.

Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) are roommates, best buddies, and stoners. Harold works in an office, where the white guys push off all the work on Harold because they think that "those Asian guys love crunching numbers." Kumar's father wants him to go to med school, but all Kumar wants to do is smoke pot and have fun. Kumar screws up his interview to get into med school by talking to Harold over the phone in front of the dean and goes home. Harold is upset because now he has lots more work to do, his parking spot got stolen by some white "extreme sports punks" who yell at him "Better Ruck Tomorrow!!!" and Harold cannot work up the courage to talk to the pretty-indeterminate-race-girl-next-door and his crush, Maria. So Harold and Kumar get high and get the munchies. They see an ad for White Castle and... cravings. They hop in Harold's car (despite the amount of work Harold has) and make the journey to White Castle. And shenanigans ensue. Unfortunately, the old White Castle in New Brunswick was replaced with a crappier burger joint (ha ha, joint), but there's another White Castle open 24 hours a day in Cherry Hill. Along the way, Kumar starts to come down and decides to stop by Princeton to get some more pot. While Harold gets taken to an "Asia Club" meeting by some chick he doesn't like, Kumar finds a pot supplier and buys some from him, and is then approached by two British Preppy McPrepsteresses. They give Kumar their room number, and this makes Kumar happy. Then he takes his pot and he and Harold get high in the stairwell and are almost caught by a campus policeman. They make a run for it and hide in the girl's bathroom. The two Preppy McPrepsteresses come into the bathroom as Harold and Kumar are hiding in a stall. The two Preppy McPrepsteresses take care of some business (taco sh*ts) and, needless to say but I'll say it anyway - Harold and Kumar run away, leave their pot and the pot supplier guy gets arrested. Our dynamic duo get back in their car and resume their quest for White Castle burgers. Kumar pulls over to urinate, but he leaves the door open and a raccoon gets in and bites Harold. Harold gets paranoid and insists on stopping by a hospital to check and see if he has rabies. At the hospital, Harold doesn't have rabies but Kumar runs into his doctor dad, who is very disappointed that Kumar didn't get into med school. Kumar apologizes and then steals his father's medical marijuana card. However, someone mistakes Kumar for his doctor brother and Kumar has to operate on a gunshot victim. Kumar saves the man's life, and in return, the man tells him how to get to White Castle from the hospital. Our dynamic duo hops in the car and drives on. They pass by a movie theatre and see Harold's crush (Maria, played by Paula Garcés) outside. Kumar yells to get her attention, and Harold panics and hits the gas pedal to get Kumar to drive away. They drive off the road and land in a ditch. A boil-covered, Jesus-loving tow-truck man named Freakshow (Christopher Meloni) helps them out and takes them back to his tiny, Jesus-bedecked, pink house with his whorey wife. She is about to give Harold oral sex (told you this post wasn't safe for 12 and unders) when Freakshow comes in a gets mad, even though he gave them permission to do that sort of thing. Then he offers to have a foursome and our dynamic duo run away with their car, frightened to death. They drive off, and a little ways later Kumar spots a hitchhiker and stops for him. It turns out to be Neil Patrick Harris playing Neil Patrick Harris. He is high on ecstasy and wants to go to a strip club but Harold and Kumar are adamant in their quest for White Castle burgers. However, they don't know where they are, so they decide to stop at a gas station to get directions. While they're there, the Extreme Sports Punks are there too, and they harass the (just so happens to be) Indian gas station store owner, much to the anger of Kumar. Then Neil Patrick Harris steals Harold's car. Harold and Kumar decide to leave the gas station and find a pay phone. They are about to jaywalk across the street (at 2:00 in the morning, no less) when a white cop gives Harold a ticket for jaywalking. Kumar antagonizes Harold and Harold punches the white cop, who throws Harold in jail. In jail, Harold sees the pot supplier kid from Princeton get taken away by his mother, leaving his bag of pot on the table and he meets a black professor who was arrested by the same white cop for being black. Kumar fakes a 911 call so he can break out Harold and they can go to White Castle. Kumar then spots the bag of pot and steals it, and also helps Harold break out. They escape with the bag of pot into the woods, where they run into an escaped cheetah and smoke pot with it. Then they try and ride the cheetah to White Castle until Harold gets hit by a branch and falls off the cheetah. Kumar jumps off too and the cheetah runs away, and unfortunately, the computer that Harold has been working on all night is broken. They then wander out of the forest and see a hot dog joint (derp derp) and decide that they really want White Castle. They have another encounter with the Extreme Sports Punks and steal their car. Then they have a sing along to song bad 80's pop, when an officer spots their car and chases after them, until Harold and Kumar are trapped at the edge of a cliff looking down on their destination: White Castle!! They take a hang glider from the truck and fly/crash down to the White Castle and walk inside to get their 30 burgers, 5 servings of fries and 4 large drinks each (It's now about 7:00 in the morning). Only Kumar blew all their cash on the pot he bought at Princeton. Who should turn up but Neil Patrick Harris? He gives Harold $40 for their meal and $200 for the damage to Harold's car. Then Harold and Kumar chow down. Kumar realizes he does want to be a doctor, but he's afraid of conforming to the stereotype that Indians become doctors. Harold sees his coworkers that pushed all the work off on the "quiet Asian guy" and gives them hell for it. They get sheepish and cowardly and this pushes Harold to go pursue Maria (neighbor-crush-girl). They talk in the elevator of their apartment building and they kiss (YAY!). Then Maria reveals that she's heading for Amsterdam, and Kumar immediately wants to go too, because pot is legal there.

Did you just hear that cracking noise? I heard it too. It was the sound of John Cho and Kal Penn taking their hammers and chisels and making tiny cracks in the granite ceiling that is the model minority. Harold and Kumar are not really law-abiding citizens. True, Harold works as an investment banker, and Kumar could be a great doctor. But Harold seems to hate his job and Kumar is reluctant (until the end of the movie) to go to med school. Even Bobby Lee's character (the stuffy, very Asian kid at Princeton who gets excited about kimchee chicken and investment banking) gets loose and dances on a table shirtless throwing pot in the air and asking two girls to flash him. Harold and Kumar even confront racism head on - when they encounter the Extreme Sports Punks, when they deal with the racist white cop... Even better - young, intelligent Asian kids are doing things that we don't perceive as "Asian" things. They are breaking rules, being outrageous and silly and fun. We watch them have fun being crazy and not part of the model minority stereotype. Cracks in the model minority ceiling? No, I see some serious fissures! Asian people can get high, get chicks, wind up in jail, break out of jail, sing along to bad 80's pop, run away from creepers, and go on crazy, Dude, Where's My Car?-esque adventures just like white people!

The American Dream. Our people did come to America for a better life. "Escaping persecution, poverty, and hunger... they wanted to live in a land that treated them as equals." Unfortunately, this speech does not inspire... anything. It's very contrived and silly. I didn't feel any more connected to my people. I didn't get teary-eyed. I laughed (and I'm pretty sure taht was the point of it). But it made me think again of this "model minority" stereotype.
Both Harold and Kumar are achievers of the American Dream (yeah, let's put aside the pot stuff for a quick bit). They are intelligent kids who have (or, in Kumar's case, going to have) high-paying, successful jobs. Of course, that's going to beg the question "What is success?" but I am not going there. At all. They made it in America. They're well-off - so much so that they can take an entire night off just to get high and go to White Castle. However, they rebel against their "model minority" selves. And that is what makes this movie special. SPECIAL!

Twice in this film Harold mentions Sixteen Candles as one of his favorite movies. But not once does he or any other character mention Long Duk Dong. Part of me thinks that would have been too obvious if they had a reference to how stereotypical that character was in the script. All Harold says about it is that it's a classic and it's one of his favorites. That's it. No "OOooooh, sexy girlfriend!" No "What's a-happenin', hotstuff?" None of that at all. Just mentions the movie as a whole in passing. It's amazing. You'd think the screenwriters would have a field day with that. But they didn't! Did someone finally realize that we'd like to sweep that particular performance under the rug and not bring it up in a mainstream movie again (ahem, Kickin' It Old Skool)? Either way, Long duk Dong has no cameo in this here movie, no sir. And for that, it's awesome. 

Asian man isn't so quiet and subservient now, huh??

Think about it. A movie with non-emasculated, cool Asian characters. A film with attractive Asian actors. Harold gets the girl! A girl of indeterminate race, but still! They make out several times in an elevator! When was the last time you saw something like that? When was the last time you saw a male Asian character get a girl like that? Hmm? Lemme know when you think of one. A mainstream, goofy stoner movie with cool Asian characters and even cooler Asian actors.

Oh my goodness. I could not control myself during this scene. I fell out of my chair laughing. Just so funny. And it's not funny because it's race-based. It's funny because it's goofy and it's bad 80's pop music. And you can't help but smile when you watch it. And that's what I want to do when I see an Asian/American actor onscreen.

You know what's nice about this movie? It is not a movie about Asian stoners. It is not a film about being Asian (although, yes, it does make some references to that). It breaks down stereotypes about Asians in a way that does not end up hurting or perpetuating another stereotype. This is a (really really funny) movie about two stoners who just happen to be Asian. It's a beginning. When Asian actors can just act, and they needn't worry about being typecast as the geek, or the gangster, or anything else that has specific connotations and connections with their race. This is the beginning. And that, my dear readers, is some REAL representation. 

NPR interview with John Cho, Kal Penn, and Tavis Smiley on "Busting Stereotypes in Film" 

Collage-in' #11

Cool beans. 

Coming Soon:

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

Joy Luck Club

One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing

21 Jump Street

Remember how I said Crimson Kimono was ahead of it's time? So was 21 Jumpstreet. 

That TV show about the fresh-faced, mullet-haired undercover cops who investigated hardcore crimes in high schools and colleges and the like? Remember? That show that tackled social issues and ended with morals about drugs, sex, and the like? 
Look at the main characters - only two white people featured here. Only two. 3 people of color. Two of whom are black, one who is Asian. 

One who is Asian and doesn't have any accent, dresses like a cool kid, rocks a mullet, is not overly sexualized or completely emasculated either, and he's... normal. He's a normal human being. Not an offspring of some Asian caricature.

He's normal! He's one of the cool kids! He's human! He's Officer H. T. Ioki! (Shouldn't it be Aoki? Whatever) 

What a catchy, feel-good theme song. I wanna sing along. At about 0:44, you get to see Ioki do some serious ass-kicking. Whoooooooohoo!
Harry Truman Ioki is a "Japanese-American" cop who is cool. His "parents named him" Harry Truman - but not really. H. T. Ioki's real name is Vinh Van Tranh, and he is a Vietnamese refugee from Saigon. Ioki's (or is it Vinh Van Tranh?) parents and best friend were killed in an attack by the Vietcong as they were trying to escape Vietnam and head for the US. He escaped from Vietnam on a boat to Guam, and then relocated to Arkansas in a refugee camp when a Methodist church found him a home in St. Louis with a elderly white woman, learning English and being somewhat happy. He eventually decided that he wanted to be a cop, but when he applied, he didn't think a Vietnamese refugee would make it into the department, so he stole the Social Security number and name of a long-dead San Franciscan baby named Harry Truman Ioki. However, he never filled out the name change application thing so his stealing of the Social Security number and the name was illegal (this and all of the above the subject of the episode Christmas in Saigon), so he gets threatened with dismissal from the Undercover Fresh-Faced Cop Team. Everyone on the team expresses sympathy for his plight except for Captain Adam Fuller, a Vietnam war veteran who becomes immediately suspicious against Ioki (Tranh?) after hearing the truth. Only after Johnny Depp's character gives Capt. Fuller a talking to does he forgive Ioki and stick up for him during Ioki' trial. 

This episode was absolutely earthshaking because the story of (really) Vinh Van Tranh actually reflects the story of the actor Dustin Nguyen. He did pretty much the exact same thing as his character on 21 Jumpstreet (minus the stealing of names and the Social Security number business). The episode not only gave Nguyen a chance to reveal his acting chops, it also gave a realistic representation of what really happened to lots of Vietnamese refugees as they were trying to escape from the Vietcong. Christmas in Saigon also showed the viewers how not all of the Vietnamese were the enemy, as shown in the snappy dialogue between Johnny Depp's character (Officer Hanson) and Capt. Fuller.
Now don't go thinking I only watched ONE episode of this super cool show. There's another episode (The Dragon and the Angel) where Ioki joins a Vietnamese (yay, specificity!) street gang (called Pai Gow) to stop them from extorting the Vietnamese community, but somebody offers Ioki the opportunity to find his grandmother that he left in Vietnam.

There's a bit of a love interest for Ioki as well (I guess he actually changed his name after the Christmas in Saigon episode). Hurray! Only her family is apparently Communist, so that makes Ioki a little bit angry... Now there's a battle of ideologies - Communist vs. American capitalist. The father (Van Luy, played by Danny Kamekona) of the girl Ioki seems to have a crush on tells him that "Today's slaves are the Central Americans and the Vietnamese." To which Ioki responds, "You're just like all the others who criticize this country. You're a parasite." Now the love interest girl (Kim, played by Kelly Hu) asks Ioki about his girlfriend, and Ioki says he doesn't have one. Then Kim says, "I see. You're the traditional Vietnamese boy who worships from afar, who has a crush but is too shy to say anything." Well, shoot. Too bad he can't have her, because she likes him too! Look at this! A normal love story between two normal kids who just happen to be Asian. They aren't in love because they're Asian! They're in love because they are! Because they were destined for each other! But let's not forget that Ioki is trying to break up an extortion gang, but it's proving to be tricky! Not only that, Ioki still can't forgive Communism (and therefore Van Luy) for breaking up his family and his country - but eventually he does, because he wants to help his grandmother (filial piety!!). But it turns out that Van Luy just keeps the money for himself. Finally, the Pai Gow plan to raid Van Luy's place for the money, but Ioki informs the police and breaks it up. And in the end, Van Luy has a letter from Ioki's grandmother. 
BUT no developing love story between Ioki and Kim. Barely any of that. It's too bad. They would have been so cute together. I had such hopes. 

H. T. Ioki kicks ass. He's a cop. He's a good cop. He rocks a mullet. He is infinitely cooler than Johnny Depp's character. He does martial arts (something that Dustin Nguyen is proficient in as well). Now, you may be thinking that this is feeding off the Bruce Lee stereotype - but nay! Bruce Lee is almost always a semi-mute character who is only good at kicking ass. Ioki kicks ass and speaks English and is a cop. Ioki is also not all about kicking ass. He uses it to get by - it's not his only saving grace. He is an evolved Bruce Lee. And that, my dears, is cause for celebration. 


Like Crimson Kimono, these two episodes of 21 Jump Street were great in their specificity towards Vietnam and Vietnamese-Americans, even if they didn't involve the same amount of research that Crimson Kimono needed/had. On top of that, it's all in a positive light! Even the extortion gang has a cause for their extortion... kinda. The Asians in these two episodes are portrayed as people. Real people. It's great. It's ahead of it's time. If they make a movie out of this TV show (which apparently is happening), they better keep an H. T. Ioki-esque character in there. With a cameo by Dustin Nguyen. 

Slim Chin & The Metro PCS Indian Guys

Advertising by caricatures makes me sick.  

Dear God. Isn't this painful? I feel an overwhelming desire to gouge my eyes out. I want 31 seconds of my life back! "The Beast From The Far East?" MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ignore the funky basketball references. Let's focus on this guy who looks remarkably like Long Duk Dong - like an older-decked-out-in-gold-no-exaggerated-Asian-accent-talking Long Duk Dong. He is awkward and rotund - it's Charlie Chan's body with Long Duk Dong's head and a whole lot of stupid. This is really just riding on the Old Spice commercials, with a character selling a product - only this time, it's not a MANLY black man selling a REAL man's product - it's a slightly emasculated and not attractive Asian man selling... shoes. The gods are smiling upon us though - no horrendously offensive accent. But wait a minute... doesn't he sound... not Asian... but... dare I say it? Black? I guess so. This commercial is progressive in this way (the No Stereotypical Asian Accent way) but slightly regressive in the physical representation of the character - an awkward, rotund, strange-looking Asian guy trying and not succeeding to fit into hip hop culture. In other words - the Perpetual Foreigner. But not in the way you might think. This is an Asian stereotype that while they can assimilate into America, they can't assimilate into the world of Hip Hop Cool. 
It's a lot better than those Metro PCS commercials with the two Indian guys and their awful accents...

Did you just want to barf? I know I did. Does anybody remember these TV advertisements? I wouldn't be forgetting something as horrendous as that in a hurry. 

Dear God, it just got so much worse.
The exaggerated accents. The accents. The funky Bollywood-esque music. The dancers at the end of the Shaming ad.  Dear God, I thought we were above this sort of thing! Apparently not! 
Just so many things wrong... with all of these... So are South Asians the new Poke-Fun-At-Them-Because-They're-The-Model-Minority-And-They-Won't-Say-Anything Group? How disgusting. This is awful. Why is nobody protesting this? I protest! Down with race-based caricature advertising! 


We must begin a new rallying cry - "Slim Chin, Ranjit, Chad, and Charlie Chan are dead!"

Mr. Yunioshi

Make it stop!!!!!

"The worst of the worst
The most hated and cursed
Is the one that we call [Mr. Yunioshi]"

Look at his buck teeth. The intense yellowface - hello major darkening of the skin and some scary slanted eyes. The awful, stilted accent. The screechy, "Ah so!" when he pops up out of the bathtub. The yelling of "Miss Gorightry!" The portrayal of a cranky, nearsighted, short and stereotypical Japanese man - a step away from the direction that Crimson Kimono was going in. There is nothing pan-Asian-ist about Mr. Yunioshi. He wears a kimono, and his name isn't exactly one you could apply to any old "type" of Asian - it's specifically Japanese. Oh, the irony. 


Depressingly enough, Mr. Yunioshi was a character in the Truman Capote novella of the same name - and he was referred to as "that Jap." And that doesn't need much explanation, does it? Thankfully, he doesn't make many appearances in the book; however, he becomes a more prominent character in the film version, acting as Holly Golightly's landlord and lighthearted, blatantly racist "comic" relief. 

The fact that this is Mickey Rooney from Babes in Arms and all that Andy Hardy stuff is (for me) absolutely heartbreaking and disappointing. Mickey Rooney. Dear old Mickey Rooney from Night at the Museum 1. The guy who voiced Kris Kringle in that stop-motion version of Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town. Mickey Rooney donned some of the worst yellowface I have seen so far and got praise and recognition for it. The New York Times wrote of his performance: "Mickey Rooney's bucktoothed, myopic Japanese is broadly exotic." Everyone loved it. Everyone thought it was hysterical and funny and... accurate, apparently. Of course, he has since apologized for the portrayal, saying that "It breaks my heart. Blake Edwards, who directed the picture, wanted me to do it because he was a comedy director. They hired me to do this overboard... Never in all the more than 40 years after we made it -- not one complaint. Every place I've gone in the world people say, 'God, you were so funny'... It's terribly sad and I feel bad for the people taking offense." He even said later that he wishes someone had told him about how his portrayal might be a bit offensive, because then he would have changed it. Blake Edwards even said, "Looking back, I wish I had never done it...and I would give anything to be able to recast it, but it's there." But do you see how uninformed Blake Edwards and Rooney were? They wanted to use the "Jap" as comic relief, as a throwaway character with no real importance without thinking of the repercussions this portrayal had. Does their ignorance make them racist? Mr. Yunioshi is undoubtedly a racist caricature, but does this mean that their creators are racist? They both seem to have been expressing remorse for their interpretation and regretting the portrayal - but that doesn't change the fact that thousands of people saw the film, saw the portrayal, and unconsciously (or consciously, take your pick) applied it to all Asians (or all Japanese, take your pick). This film was made in a time when you would not have any blackface whatsoever, but it was apparently okay to make fun of Asians! Why? Is this the model minority thing? We won't raise a stink about an unfavorable portrayal, while other minority races will? Disgusting. 

Play that [chinky] music, [Henry Mancini]? Hear those xylophones and the jazzy "Oriental" music? Every time I hear some sort of cinematic "Oriental" music, it makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. It's so false and situated around gongs and zithers and that stupid little riff - you know, the "dunh-nuhnuhnuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuhhhhh" one. And get this! Most of the time, the scores that sound like this one wee written by white composers! Who knew?! Now is it offensive and annoying because it was written by a white composer? Or is it offensive and annoying because we hear it so often in conjunction with movies that have offending and questionable portrayals of Asians in them? Are the connections and connotations between the acting and the music what annoy us? Or is it the music itself? After listening to the above song, I'm going to say it's a mixture of both.
Some argue that Charlie Chan or Long Duk Dong have been the most damaging stereotypes to the Asian/-American community; however, I feel that the cheap "comic" relief provided by Mr. Yunioshi stands out as an extremely racist portrayal. In case my readers (hello, all!) haven't noticed, I tend to refrain from using the word "racist" to describe certain portrayals because I feel that it's a very strong word to use. Other portrayals I tend to use "stereotyped" or "wrong," and I think that most of those stereotypes are. They definitely have racist undertones, but it depends on whether the portrayal is (I think) a trying-to-be positive portrayal or not. Something may have racist undertones, but it may not be blatantly and negatively racist. If I apply the word "racist" to every portrayal I come across, it will lose it's meaning. That said, I think that Mr. Yunioshi is one of the most extremely racist caricatures - he's right up there with Fu Manchu. He has none of the "Oriental wisdom" that Charlie Chan (detested as he is) possesses. He is not polite or subservient to anyone (that could be a good thing, but then again, no). He is the perpetual foreigner - he has an awfully exaggerated accent and... dear lord the buck teeth. Everything about Mr. Yunioshi is just too much to handle. Makes me want to cry. So awful. He sends the message (loud and clear!) that this was an acceptable way to portray Asians - or, specifically, Japanese people. This was 1961 - you'd think people would have seen this as racist - but did they?? Apparently not! They considered this hysterical! Funny! Comic relief! Blatant racism!!!

If you fast-forward through every Mr. Yunioshi scene, it's a decent movie. It's just the awful stereotype that ruins it. Whoopee. 

Collagin' #10

Progress for progress' sake must be [pretty cool]," Dolores Umbridge.

Long Duk Dong

Everyone describes Sixteen Candles to be this great movie... Do they just happen to forget this guy? This depressingly shameful guy, riding on the coattails of every laughable Asian stereotype? A character so disgusting and offensive he cannot be listed as a son of Charlie Chan, categorized into a model minority section, or just filed away to be forgotten? 

Dear me, he's frightening.

Oh Lordy make it stop!!!

Long Duk Dong is every single negative Asian stereotype rolled into one and baked to perfection. He's got an accent. Gong noises mysteriously accompany him wherever he goes. He has a strange attraction to white girls but is found unattractive by most of them - he is horny yet emasculated by his obviously foreign horniness. Not a pretty combo. He doesn't know what quiche is. He uses a knife and fork like chopsticks. He unsuccessfully tries to pick up Sam, and ends up with a horsy jock girl named Lumberjack. He speaks in pidgin English and laughs. All the time. "Wang the Farmer" anyone? 

He gets raging drunk and passes out on his host family's lawn on his first night in America. Repulsive!

Something about Long Duk Dong is just not... very model minority. He's more of a model minority that has been corrupted by the American Teenage Dream. You know, the smoking, the binge drinking, the sex... You'd think it would be a good thing to see that sort of thing happening to an Asian person - look at the Asians, they can be freewheelin' and partying hard too! Only... This is painfully bad. This is bad for Asians. 

Oh good grief. It just got so much worse. 
Long Duk Dong (yes, yes, the name is a parody within itself) is a Chinese foreign exchange student who wears a kimono, screams "Banzai," and has a vaguely-sounding Vietnamese name. He's even got the funky hairdo that Asian Ken Doll was sporting. Pan-Asianism? Or is it just lumping those three types of Asians (Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese) all into one? 

After Sixteen Candles, every Asian boy on the playground would be called "Donger" by the white kids, they would be asked to repeat the lines, "What's a-happening, hotstuff?" After Sixteen Candles, Asian men became the ultimate turn-off - quite a step away from whatever James Shigeta had previously shown in Crimson Kimono. The assumption became that Asian men were all looking for a large-breasted, horsy white woman and incapable of being a normal teen/human being. Long Duk Dong also perpetuates the Perpetual Foreigner stereotype. Gedde Watanabe was born here in the US, but for all you know, he could have been a dude John Hughes found in Asia and brought him over to do an awful slapstick role that would affect how Asian men would be seen forever... ever... ever... 
I just wonder how John Hughes, the voice of the underdogs, could create such a stereotypical character, especially during a time when Asian Americans were finally taking a stand and emerging as a recognized racial group. Sixteen Candles was made a mere two years after the murder of Vincent Chin, whose case became a rallying point for Asian American activists and the beginning of the pan-Asian movement. It was also made in the middle of a trade war between the US and Japan - and many members of the Asian American community felt that this performance and character only kept the negative stereotypes going. Is this something that perhaps John Hughes saw and wanted to recognize? Sure, he pulls out what can be seen as the "token" Asian in an all-white cast, but he makes sure that token Asian is a caricature - was he poking fun at all Asians, knowing full well that there is a very slim chance that anyone fits that stereotype at all? Was this how he saw all Asians, possibly having met none before? And above all, what did Gedde Watanabe think? 
Sixteen Candles would have been a fine and dandy movie if they had just cut these horrendous bits out. 
Cool Comic!
Interview with Gedde Watanabe by AsianWeek.com

The Most Painful Chan-isms

My goodness... So many...
Young brain, like grass, need dew of sleep.
Wise precaution to accept "applesauce" with large pinch of salt.
Wherever one is not, that is where heart is.
When searching for needle in haystack, haystack only sensible location.
What is to be is to be.
Unwise officer who eat apple not yet ripe get official tummy ache.
Two ears for every tongue.
Truth, like football - receive many kicks before reaching goal.
Trouble with modern children, they do not smart in right place.
To one who kill, life can suddenly become most precious.
Thoughts are like noble animal - unchecked, they run away causing painful smash-up.
There is old saying: "Good wife's place should be at mate's elbow in time of trouble."
Swelled head sometimes give police more cooperation than criminal mistake.
Sometimes very difficult to pick up pumpkin with one finger.
Smart fly keep out of gravy.
Shot in dark sometime find eye of bull.
Remember old saying: "Earthquake may shatter the rock, but sand upon which rock stood still right there in same old place."
Pretty girl, like lap dog, sometimes go mad.
Perfect case, like perfect doughnut, has hole.
Optimist only sees doughnut, pessimist sees hole.
Opinion like tea leaf in hot water - both need time for brewing.
One at a time is good fishing.
Ocean have many fish.
Most fortunate gift to be able to cross bridge to dwelling place of honorable ancestors before arriving.
Man yet to be born who can tell what woman will or will not do.
Man can more safely search for gold if world thinks he dig ditch. 
Journey of life like feather on stream - must continue with current.
In China, mahjong very simple; in America very complex - like modern life.
Honorable father once say, "Politeness golden key that open many doors." 
Hasty man could also drink tea with fork.
Hasty conclusion like toy balloon - easy blow up, easy pop.
Greetings at the end of journey like refreshing rain after long drought.
Fingerprints very valuable if detective can catch owner of fingers.
Every maybe has a wife called Maybe-Not.
Envelope, like skin of banana, must be removed to digest contents.
Do not need brass band to commit simple burglary.
Contents of safe are only secure so long as someone outside watching safe.
Charming company turn lowly sandwich into rich banquet.
Blond hair can be obtained from a bottle - or wigmaker.
A woman not made for heavy thinking, but should always decorate scene like blossom of plum.
Ancient ancestor once say, "As mind is fed with silent thought, so should body absorb its food."
Action speak louder than French.
But wait! There's more!!!!
Why are these so painful? Imagine them being said in a halting, "Oriental" (switcheroo of those "r"s and "l"s!) accent by a tipsy Swedish actor. Now imagine hearing some sort of aphorism like these every 20 minutes in any given Charlie Chan movie. Now imagine that you are an Asian kid on the playground, and some kid who is not Asian goes up to you screeching "Confucius say..." and then proceed to pelt you with even more senseless Chan-isms. Are you done imagining? Aside from the cultural connotations that these "proverbs" have, they're also just... stupid. And bad. And painful. The grammar. The analogies. I dare you to read them out loud and keep yourself from facepalming or gently beating your forehead against your desk. I dare you.